Please critique my welcome letter :)

(Suzi Nelson) #1

Hey all!

I just wrote my very first “welcome the the community” email that will go out to new members. I know its missing important things that are in usual welcome letters, like the “here’s some conversations and posts you can participate in” links, but I run a Facebook group and just don’t have the bandwidth to update new links every week. Gotta make do with what you can!

Anyway, I’d LOVE your feedback on this and any tips or suggestions you have…

Hi [NAME],

Thank you for joining our community – it’s great to have you as a member of the DM Engage Facebook group!

Allow me to introduce myself…

My name is Suzi Nelson. I’m the community manager here at DigitalMarketer and it’s my job to help build and develop this community. The main way I do that is encouraging members to get involved, share their ideas and opinions, and help one another out. That being said, if I can be of any help, or if you have any feedback or suggestions, drop me an email at any time:

Let me tell you a little bit about the group…

Who’s In It…
DM Engage is made up of your fellow DigitalMarketer Lab members. They come from a variety of industries, niches, and marketing backgrounds – from digital marketing newbies to enterprise-level professionals.

How To Get The Best Results From The Community…
The best way to get started in DM Engage is to ask the community a digital marketing question. We love helping our community members succeed.

The Do’s and Don’ts…
We do have a few rules in DM Engage. Nothing too serious or hard to follow, but it’s still important to take a look before you dive in. [LINK TO COMMUNITY GUIDELINES]

Here’s what you can expect from our community of like-minded digital marketers and business owners…

Members of the DM Engage community post fresh content, cool tools, great ideas, and feedback requests to the group daily.

This means there are thousands of digital marketers ready to answer your questions, provide support and encouragement, and keep you up to date on the latest in what’s working in digital marketing.

Typical posts include:

  • Questions and feedback requests on a variety of digital marketing topics include technology recommendations, landing pages, ads, lead magnets, and even full-funnel evaluations

  • Resources & Tools that members have found helpful in their marketing journey

  • Results & Case Studies about what works and what doesn’t

  • Job Postings from DM Lab members who are looking to hire marketers familiar with Digital Marketer strategies

Sounds like a cool place to connect, right?

My thoughts exactly.

Now it’s time to stop talking about it and actually join in the conversation!

Go ahead and make your first post and use the hashtag #ImNewHere so we can welcome you!

Not sure what to say in your first post? Here are a few ideas:

  • Post your ad campaign or landing page and ask the group to review it

  • Ask for recommendations and resources on a particular tool or service

  • Let us know where you’re from and see if there are any Engage members in your area!

This next part is important.

Jumping into a new community can be a little intimidating. Here are some resources that will help you feel right at home in DM Engage:

DM Engage Community Guidelines [LINKED]
Learn what’s cool to post and how to make DM Engage a great place for everyone.

The DM Engage Glossary of Market-y Terms [LINKED]
Our members love their acronyms. Use this short glossary to learn the lingo.

(TIP – If you need to get touch with me directly, Facebook Instant Messenger is usually the fastest. Be sure to send me a friend request so I won’t miss your message!)

Thanks again for joining us. I look forward to seeing you get involved in the community!

Suzi Nelson
Community Manager, DigitalMarketer

PS – I spend most of my time in DigitalMarketer Engage than not, so next time you visit the group, tag me in a post to say hi and tell me a little bit about your business.

(Joe Narusis) #2

Hi Suzi,

I think the content in the email is great! You tell them the expectations and culture of the community, as well as some ideas how they can contribute.

My suggestions on how to improve it mainly relate to the visual layout and length.

I would break this welcome email into multiple emails. It contains a lot of great information, but might seem overwhelming for someone just starting out. For the first one, I would just tell them how to get involved, then include the rest of the information in several following emails. Also, some of the content could be condensed into areas you already have, such as moving your PS (first post ideas) and TIP(intro paragraph) into previous parts of the email.

For the visual layout sure the headline that break up the separate sections stand out visually. A good way to do this is to bold, underline, or italicize them. Also avoid black text on a white background if possible, use dark and light gray instead.

I hope this helps!

(Heidi Morgan) #3

It’s really nicely written and covers all bases - just my gut feeling is that it’s a bit long. You could make it more concise, e.g.:

‘I’m Suzi Nelson, the community manager at DigitalMarketer, and I help build the community by encouraging members to get involved, share ideas and help each other out. If you’ve got any questions or feedback, you can get in touch with me directly using Facebook Instant Messenger or by dropping me an email at any time:

(Just by rearranging a couple of sentences that cut quite a lot of unnecessary words there)

You could also cut some of your subheadings (e.g. let me introduce msyelf, the do’s and don’ts, who’s in it, how to get the best results etc.) and just generally try and remove anything that’s not absolutely necessary. You’d want to dial up the casual language to avoid sounding too formal when you do this.

(Richard Millington) #4

A few thoughts:

Good culture and content, but…

  1. Far too long.
  2. Reads like everything you want to say rather than what you want the audience to do / what they need.
  3. Trying to cover too many goals at once. They can probably guess who you are and what the group is. So you can cover that in the signature / very quickly. You can use further onboarding emails to explain more about the culture etc…The goal at this stage is to get someone to participate right now.
  4. No-one’s going to read the rules ever (how many of you read the rules for this group?)

I took a swing at it below (feel completely free to ignore it though)

[quote]Hi [name]

Welcome to DM Engage [name]. Our goal is bring together those of us working on Digital Marketing to solve the daily challenges we face.

The best way to get started in DM Engage is to let us help solve a single challenge you face today.

What are you working on or struggling with right now? What is the one thing that would really help you right now?

Previous examples have included.

  1. example
  2. example
  3. example.

Make sure you use the hashtag #imnewhere so we can give you a good welcome.

[specific link to create post here]

Feel free to @tag me into any post you want some help on.

  • Suzi (Community manager title)[/quote]

(Ed Fry) #5

Thanks for posting here :slight_smile: Always takes guts to ask for a critique!

My first question - What’s the goal of the welcome letter?

If it’s just to “become known” there’s better ways of doing this - sending content which is highly relevant to those individuals is

Second, it’s well intended… but way too long! If you’ve got multiple things to say, and multiple things for them to do, split it up into an onboarding email series. You’ll get far better engagement.

Finally, if the objective is to get people back to the site, don’t just link back at the bottom.

If you’re unsure of any of these, try A/B testing your emails with this versus another and measure the difference once you’ve ran a statistically significant number of contacts through.

(Sarah Hawk) #6

That was my first observation also. I think you probably need your key CTA right at the very top for people that only read the first couple of lines and then can’t be bothered.