How do you develop CM micro-skills?


(Sarah Hawk) #1

I love this list of key Community Management micro-skills that Rich has put together as part of our Advanced Engagement Methods training course.

(Note: I have no idea how I did this, but the list below scrolls to the right.)

•	Write and communicate persuasively (using both techniques from copywriting, speechwriting, counselling, and marketing).
•	Build instant rapid rapport with everyone we meet online and offline.
•	Develop an ability to spot someone's motivations (and build a unique empathy).
•	Display credibility and authenticity cues to build trust and respect.
•	Open up discussions with strangers that lead to self-disclosure.

I’m currently playing a party game with myself (that sounds weird) – when I’m out, I work on number 3. I try to figure out what personally motivates each person that I’m speaking with (ie what their values are) and respond to them accordingly.

I’d love to hear other ideas for developing these kinds of skills.


(Bas van Leeuwen) #2

The playing little games approach has served me very well in the past.
Especially when I set out on a mission to become (slightly) better at small talk. It culminated with me having a 45 minute long, in depth (and frankly boring) discussion with someone who professionally cultivated cacti and succulent plants.

Highly recommended :slight_smile:

And always remember, the first and most important step is to realise (be notified of) the fact that you have a deficit somewhere. Only once you know you can tackle it wit a conscious approach.
So go and ask people you trust for honest feedback.


(Sarah Hawk) #3

Powerful advice Bas. :slight_smile:

Writing persuasively is definitely my weakness. I’ve been working on it since last November, but it is quite an acquired skill.


(Nick Emmett) #4

I agree on the whole setting yourself mini and internal challenges to get through.
I’m quite a shy person by nature but recognise the need for being more extroverted in certain situations so found ways to force myself out of that - sometimes to the extent that people believe my natural state would be more extroverted.

Being open to your learning sources, and being able to learn and apply from places you might not normally associate with what you’re trying to improve on. One of the things that improved my confidence and approach the most was reading The Game by Neil Strauss (for reference, I’m in no way out to be any kind of Pick Up Artist lol but it’s an incredible story and journey that Neil went on - I strongly recommend the book). In it he talks about how he learned to be more confident in how he came across and communicated and that was quite an a-ha moment for me and I took lots of tips from his book in terms of engaging with people in general, perhaps in situations where I might not normally. Be open to learn.


(Mark Baldwin) #5

Empathy is a great quality to cultivate, but it needs a lot of work. There is a big difference when you can see things from a different perspective, it can be very easy to perceive people as complainers or trouble causers when in fact they’ve just misunderstood something. The best definition I’ve ever heard for empathy was “to feel your pain, in my heart”

A surprisingly high percentage of people posting online are pretty terrible at articulating their thoughts, so I also believe that mastering the art of conversation in real life is also a great skill, going out of your way to leave your comfort zone will make having “online conversations” easier work.

I also think that mastering patience is key. Not all issues or problems can be solved in one answer. I’ve often fallen into the trap of asking too many questions and then feeling annoyed when people don’t answer them all, particularly the most relevant questions. :slight_smile: A one thing at a time approach seems to work best.


(Alessio Fattorini) #6

Totally agree with you on this point :slight_smile:
Too many questions could scare people


(purldator) #7

Empathy is a great quality to cultivate, but it needs a lot of work. There is a big difference when you can see things from a different perspective, it can be very easy to perceive people as complainers or trouble causers when in fact they’ve just misunderstood something. The best definition I’ve ever heard for empathy was “to feel your pain, in my heart”

For some, not work at all.

Some be born with the ability to simply “feel” what others feel.

Makes for a difficult life, I assure you.

But, it also be a very enriching, enlightening one.

I see it opposite.

Online, I have this ability to write a message, go back, proofread, edit little things, make it precise, to the point and does exactly what I want it to do, and convey. Twofer, aye.

(emphasis mine)

Aye. Agreed.

Sometimes sentences carry whole cryptic onion-like layers; pick them apart, see the underlying messages, and how they can be applied or written to other things. The author hints but does not divulge.

When attempting to transfer the author’s thought into another “subjective-view format” it then tends to get muddled, lose focus, intent. By rote. The cryptic meanings lost.

All that be left is a shell of the former.

That be where the patience comes in.

It does become overwhelming when you realize there’s missing pieces you cannot readily see. Or may never.

The best course of action would be as you described: “one thing at a time”.

For some, though, too slow.

Ergo, the “answer”–a stimulus–your mind saw then took in did not output a useful response. Instead, it said–

“This sounds too broad and generalized; I got a lot of questions here. I want to know the answers so I can understand what you are saying in this answer; so I can actually apply it. But it sounds like there’s a lot of unspoken things, and it only leads to more questions.”

Aye, the onion-like layers missing, that be from the original, and the author too.


ROI – what are your big questions?